On Sitting Down To Read The New York Review of Books Once Again

O golden-tongued Know-It-Alls of serene learning!
Fair plumed Applebaum! Queen of baleful histories!
Breathe deep-thinking on my reveries,
Speak up Daniel Mendelsohn, it’s page turning:
Table for two! for once again the fierce communing,
Between Brooklyn and Manhattan
Must I wade through; once more tattlin’
On myself and my television tuning.
Chief Editor! and ye titans of sitzfleish,
Begetters of my unleaped eternal dream,
I am not of mensch but of mische!
(What do they call this killer rhyme scheme?)
But when I’ve consumed this issue,
Give me faux degrees from Old Sofa U.